Tuesday, July 10, 2012

I've lived on my own for over a week now.  Since June 29, to be exact.  That's the first night I spent in my house alone.  I haven't died and I've only broken 1 thing I haven't figured out how to fix yet, so I think I am doing ok.

It's a strange feeling...this living on my own as a grown up.  I've never really done it.  I graduated from high school and went to college and then got married.  This is a whole new thing for me.  And doing it with 6 kids in tow has been interesting to say the least.

It's a hard transition for some of my kids.  I can tell by the attitudes they have sometimes, especially my 2 youngest daughters.  They are 8 and 11.  The 11 year old doesn't do well with change and transition. It makes her bitchy.  The younger one gets emotional and wants to control anything she can, like the tv.  But we are learning to make this transition.

My divorce is still pending.  We had a paper review of our case on July 3.  I waited until July 2 to finally get everything in so I could go over everything with TFOMC.  He had no idea we had to do it then.  I was trying to go over parenting plans and division of assessts and he had little to contribute.   He said, "I thought we had to go to mediation for all this, that they would explain everything to us then."  We didn't go to mediation because he didn't get his paperwork in and pay for it.  I guess he doesn't remember that part.

Then as I talked about how we could claim the kids for taxes for the next 12 years, he said, "I haven't really thought about any of this."  How can he not think about it?  Does he think it will magically happen on its own?  In CO the courts really want to just stay out of it and let the 2 parties come to an agreement and then sign off on it.  And has he really not thought about the future at all?  I guess maybe he's just still grieving, but at some point you have to think about what the future will be, don't you?

I just called the court a few minutes ago.  I turned in all my documents.  He had signed some of them but he didn't take off work to go to file them with me so he signature isn't notarized.  The clerk I spoke to asked me, "Is he going to participate in the divorce at all?"  So there is a delayed prevention order until August 9.  TFOMC has until that time to file his papers and go to the parenting after divorce class.  If he doesn't, then I can have a hearing.  If it's uncontested (I guess meaning that he doesn't show up then and have lots to say), then I can get my final hearing.

When we went to our initial status hearing, we were both given a sheet that said what we needed to turn in by July 2 for the paper review.  I did my part.  When I talked to TFOMC before I filed, he had no idea even where to find the documents online to fill them out.  I already sent him an email with that information months ago.

I find myself just really frustrated with him, angry that he's not doing his part.  But I guess this shouldn't surprise me.  This is how it's always been.  I've dealt with stuff.  He doesn't deal.  He goes to work and goes out with friends for beers then comes home and sits in his chair.

So now I am waiting on him to get his shit together.  And trying not to be angry because it won't get me anywhere.